


STOP GIVING ME YOUR AUTOMAIL ARM WHENEVER I ASK YOU TO LEND A HAND!

by Jimblejambles



Series: STOP GIVING ME YOUR AUTOMAIL ARM WHENEVER I ASK YOU TO LEND A HAND! [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alchemy Major! Alphonse, Alchemy Major! Edward, Alchemy Major! Mei, Alchemy Minor! Mustang, Alchemy is a thing still, Alphonse and Mei use too many emoticons, Alphonse isnt a suit of armor tho, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Architect Major! Paninya, Automail Mechanics Major! Winry, Bad memes, Business Major! Jean, Business Major! Ling, Business Major! Vato, But Ed still has automail, Chatting & Messaging, Denny and Maria may make an appearance later, Edward Elric needs a hug, Finance Major! Breda, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I dunno yet tho, I mainly want Denny to make some Denny's jokes, Law Major! Hawkeye, Law Major! Mustang, Martial Arts Major! Lan Fan, Mechanics Major! Fuery, Multi, Other Characters Are Mentioned, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyfidelity, Sexting, Swearing, Texting, but most of them are teachers, chat fic, endgame royai, like a whole lot of swearing, mustangs team are younger than the others, sexting is still a maybe, theyre all awkward dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-08 11:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15242817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimblejambles/pseuds/Jimblejambles
Summary: willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: FULLMETALEMOtional: afnkekhhkhEMOtional: your face was pricelessgearhead: what did he dowillsuccdiccforagoodgrade: HE THREW HIS FUCKING ARM AT ME WHILE SCREAMING THIS BITCH EMPTY YEETyeet: iconicyeet:  we stan a legend





	1. girls just wanna have fun

**Author's Note:**

> Edward - EMOtional  
> Alphonse - mustprotecc  
> Winry - gearhead  
> Mustang - willsuccdiccforagoodgrade  
> Fuery - lost  
> Falman - help  
> Breda - letmesleep  
> Hawkeye - issabird  
> Jean - sapnupuas  
> Mei - smolbean/snake  
> Ling - greedybastard  
> Lan Fan - daddykink  
> Paninya - yeet

<jean is forever alone>

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: FULLMETAL

EMOtional: afnkekhhkh

EMOtional: your face was priceless

gearhead: what did he do

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: HE THREW HIS FUCKING ARM AT ME WHILE SCREAMING THIS BITCH EMPTY YEET

yeet: iconic

yeet:  we stan a legend

EMOtional: nothing can ever top this

EMOtional: i have reached my final form

EMOtional: its all downhill from here

gearhead: ED

gearhead: I SWEAR TO GOD YOURE TRYING TO BREAK YOUR ARM

mustprotecc: winry u have to admit its a lil funny \\(◦'⌣'◦)/

smolbean: ALPHONSE ＼(^o^)／＼(^o^)／＼(^o^)／

smolbean: HOWS YOUR DAY BEEN? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

mustprotecc: its been real good ヽ(^o^)ノ

mustprotecc: mrs curtis nearly killed one of the other students tho (-_-;)

mustprotecc: hows your day been \\(◦'⌣'◦)/ i miss you

smolbean: its absolutely perfect now that youre in it （*´▽｀*）

gearhead: this whole exchange makes me soft

yeet: uwu

EMOtional: psshhhh

EMOtional: mei is a snake

<EMOtional changed smolbean’s name to snake>

snake:  (ง'̀ [ **-'** ](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=-%27) ́)ง

snake: the only snake is you deceiving people by pretending to be some handsome prince when really youre just a pipsqueak

EMOtional: WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE HAD TO GET A PIGGYBACK FROM LING JUST TO SEE DURING A FOB CONCERT?!?!?!?

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: the unis prodigy people

EMOtional: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 

gearhead: if you drank your milk you wouldnt have this problem

greedybastard: god had to give him some kind of flaw

sapnupuas: were the missing limbs not enough

EMOtional: at least i can still get a date with these looks jean

sapnupuas: i feel attacked

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: at least hes not a virgin tho

<EMOtional has left jean is forever alone>

issabird: That was too far.

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: shit

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: i didnt realise it was true

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: it was just a joke

issabird: Joke or not, you need to apologise.

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: i know

mustprotecc: roy? x

mustprotecc: (ಠ ∩ಠ)

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: im going

gearhead: you better or else i will hammer your dick to a wall so that no woman will ever even consider getting with you again

yeet: is it bad that im slightly turned on rn

daddykink: no

daddykink: i was turned on too


	2. edward elric protection squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy tries to fix stuff but ultimately fails. Ling is some kind of monster that everyone worships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edward - EMOtional/FULLMETAL/alchemyfreakk  
> Alphonse - mustprotecc  
> Winry - gearhead   
> Mustang - willsuccdiccforagoodgrade/flame/demoted  
> Fuery - lost   
> Falman - help   
> Breda - letmesleep   
> Hawkeye - issabird   
> Jean - sapnupuas   
> Mei - snake  
> Ling - greedybastard   
> Lan Fan - daddykink   
> Paninya - yeet

<jean is forever alone>

lost: well this all went to hell while i was in a lecture

help: mood

help: cept i was drowning in my bisness essay

letmesleep: how do you even take business without being able to spell it??

help: i can spell ‘it’

letmesleep: im way too tired for this shit

gearhead: mood

sapnupuas: mood

snake: mood

mustprotecc: mood

greedybastard: mood

daddykink: mood

yeet: mood

lost: same

yeet: oh kain

yeet: u poor lost child

lost: im older than you??

 

<Private Chat: FULLMETAL and flame>

flame: shit

flame: im sorry

flame: i had no idea

flame: i didnt realise it was true

flame: im sorry

FULLMETAL: if you had no idea whyd you hint it in the first place

flame: youre always so secretive about your love life

flame: i was hoping to get some juicy gossip

FULLMETAL: well you got some

FULLMETAL: im a big ol fucking virgin

FULLMETAL: happy?

flame: thats not what i meant <Message unable to send>

flame: shit fullmetal <Message unable to send>

 

<jean is forever alone>

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: well that went shit

mustprotecc: what happend? is everything ok now? xx

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: i tried to explain everything to him and hes blocked me

gearhead: urghhhh

gearhead: al?

mustprotecc: already omw

greedybastard: im coming too

issabird: Let Ed know I’m here for him

issabird: I’ll deal with Roy

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: shit pray for me

gearhead: sorry all my prayers are for ed atm

mustprotecc: roy? x

mustprotecc: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ 

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: IM SORRY OK?

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: I JUST THOUGHT THERE WAS NO WAY ED COULD BE SINGLE

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: THE BOY LITRALY HAS PEOPLE CONSTATLYA SKNG HIM OUT

yeet: yeah but eds lik the most awks person

yeet: alex from love island looks lik fuccing romeo next to him

gearhead: OMFG

gearhead: tru tho

gearhead: also im so glad we brout ling with us

gearhead: ed had locked his door

sapnupuas: how did u get in then

gearhead: ling climbed in the window

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: wtf

letmesleep: ed lives on like the top floor tho??

mustprotecc: he scaled the building lik a lizard Σ(･口･)

letmesleep: the actual fuck?

gearhead: it was insane

gearhead: lik if i wasnt hella gay i wouldv been gone

gearhead: eds gonna be one lucky boi soon

greedybastard: wut u on about lol

greedybastard: ed and i r just frens?

mustprotecc: for now  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yeet: AFHKFHKFH

yeet: DID AL JUS USE THE LENNY FACE

yeet: ICONIC

issabird: My eyes have been tainted with the knowledge that Alphonse knows what the lenny face means.

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: wait u kno what the lenny face means?

issabird: Just because I am capable of using decent grammar, doesn’t mean I don’t know what stuff like yeet and the lenny face mean.

daddykink: OH SNAP

gearhead: ROASTED

yeet: AFMKMKMKLJ

yeet: QUEEN

yeet: rihanna? ion her

yeet: riza hawkeye stans only

<yeet changed the chat name to ‘riza hawkeye is a bamf’>

gearhead: get u a girl like riza hawkeye

gearhead: queens only

lost: mood

willsuccdiccforagoodgrade: same

yeet: stfu roy

yeet: ur not allowed to join in on jokes til eds ok

<yeet has changed willsuccdiccforagoodgrade’s name to ‘demoted’>

gearhead: edward elric protection squad

mustprotecc: sign me up!! xx ( ´ ▽ ` )

issabird: The only squad I accept

yeet: YEEET

<mustprotecc changed the chat name to ‘edward elric protection squad’>

sapnupuas: a decent chat name

sapnupuas: needs more women tho

letmesleep: ur just happy its no longer pointing out ur incapabilities of getting a girl

yeet: OH SHIT

gearhead: damn

gearhead: also im adding ed back

<gearhead has added Edward Elric to ‘edward elric protection squad’>

<gearhead has changed Edward Elric’s name to ‘alchemyfreakk’>

alchemyfreakk: wtf is that chat name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will contain the details from Al, Winry and Ling cheering up Ed. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	3. stan coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> letmesleep: caffeine overdoses are not fun  
> letmesleep: i dont recommend  
> sapnupuas: i remember that month  
> sapnupuas: it was a wild ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY BRIEF MENTIONS OF OVERDOSE and HINTED INSOMNIA
> 
> Edward - alchemyfreakk  
> Alphonse - mustprotecc  
> Winry - gearhead   
> Mustang - demoted  
> Fuery - lost   
> Falman - help   
> Breda - letmesleep   
> Hawkeye - issabird   
> Jean - sapnupuas   
> Mei - snake  
> Ling - greedybastard   
> Lan Fan - daddykink   
> Paninya - yeet 
> 
> I decided to put the part with Winry, Ling and Alphonse cheering up Edward as a separate work as I didn't want to break the flow of the chat fic.

<edward elric protection squad>

alchemyfreakk: hwmucccofeedosittaketodie

gearhead: why are u still awake

alchemyfreakk: whyyyarrrustlllake

gearhead: got an assignment due in about 4 hours

alchemyfreakk: 777777 issan erlllyy timtobeandinginanassment

letmesleep: caffeine overdoses are not fun

letmesleep: i dont recommend

sapnupuas: i remember that month

sapnupuas: it was a wild ride

alchemyfreakk: sooooohmuccwtalhing

alchemyfreakk: ivvdrnkabotu5intheopasthoueee

letmesleep: thankfully not enough

alchemyfreakk: myhan dsikeepi vibraieuhrt

gearhead: @mustprotecc u awake

yeet: this is wild

mustprotecc: oh dear

mustprotecc: ed where are u

alchemyfreakk: librsayr

mustprotecc: im coming xx wait there

issabird: Wait a second. I’ll drive you there, Alphonse.

mustprotecc: thanks riza xxxx

gearhead: ur still awake riza??

issabird: I had a lot of work to do.

issabird: I also had to make sure that Roy was doing his work.

demoted: send help

issabird: Alphonse, meet me by my car.

mustprotecc: ok xxx

yeet: cant believe none of us sleep lik regular folk

daddykink: ling does

mustprotecc: i normally do too xxx

letmesleep: kains asleep too

letmesleep: im not sure about vato

sapnupuas: vatos asleep

sapnupuas: he only went to bed an hour ago tho

sapnupuas: so u should probs type quieter

letmesleep: not gonna happen

letmesleep: this papers due in 6 hours

sapnupuas: havent u been working on that paper for a week?

letmesleep: 2 weeks

sapnupuas: how is it not finished?

letmesleep: finance teacher is a bitch

sapnupuas: makes perfect sense

gearhead: due in 6 hours? weak

letmesleep: at least there is a chance of me finishing my work

gearhead: shit

gearhead: ive taken critical damage

gearhead: tell paninya and lan fan i love them

yeet: love u too

daddykink: thas gay

greedybastard: last night u were literally moaning winrys name into ur pillow

daddykink: ffhfheohfo

gearhead: my lil gay heart

yeet: uwu

yeet: wait

yeet: where mei?

daddykink: mei is sleeping

daddykink: she fell asleep while doing work 2 hours ago and ling carried her to bed

yeet: UWU

gearhead: @mustprotecc  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mustprotecc: we have secured brother xxx

mustprotecc: also whyd u @ me xxx

mustprotecc: and thats super sweet lan fan

gearhead: ling carried ur girl to bed

mustprotecc: meis not mine xxx

mustprotecc: also lings hella gay for brother so whyd i be jealous xxx

greedybastard: fijfoejo

greedybastard: ed and i r just frens

greedybastard: also why would u say that

greedybastard: eds in this gc

mustprotecc: i kno ed is xx

mustprotecc: but i currently have his phone x

yeet: im scared

demoted: lol why

yeet: al is only using kisses

mustprotecc: dont worry paninya xxxxxx

mustprotecc: im not awake enough to use them currently xxx

mustprotecc: but i promise u im fine if not a lil tired xxxx

mustprotecc: blame ed for that tho xxx

gearhead: the boy really needs to take more care of himself

mustprotecc: i kno xxx

mustprotecc: thank u all for caring so much for him xxxx

sapnupuas: of course we care

sapnupuas: hes our friend and so are u

sapnupuas: wed do the same for any of the others

mustprotecc: u kno for an idiot u say some really nice things sometimes xxx

sapnupuas: OF COURSE I DO

sapnupuas: IM NOT A MONSTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Havoc.


	4. the 2018 kink outing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paninya outs everyone's kinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware. There are a lot of kinks in this chapter. If you aren't a fan, don't read.
> 
> Edward - alchemyfreakk/n00b  
> Alphonse - mustprotecc  
> Winry - gearhead  
> Mustang - demoted/furry  
> Fuery - lost  
> Falman - help  
> Breda - letmesleep/letmedie  
> Hawkeye - issabird  
> Jean - sapnupuas  
> Mei - snake  
> Ling - greedybastard  
> Lan Fan - daddykink  
> Paninya - yeet/queen

<alchemyfreakk changed the chat name to ‘piping hot tea’>

demoted: i beg of u dont do this

gearhead: ?

gearhead: i am curious

alchemyfreakk: @mustprotecc @gearhead @lost @help @letmesleep @issabird @sapnupuas @snake @greedybastard @daddykink @yeet

alchemyfreakk: i need yall present for this

gearhead: im here

gearhead: spill the tea

demoted: no

<demoted has removed alchemyfreakk from piping hot tea>

yeet: oh hell no

<yeet has added Edward Elric to piping hot tea>

yeet: i need to hear this

mustprotecc: whats going on? ( ・◇・)？

snake: HI ALPHONSE \\(◦'⌣'◦)/

yeet: halt ur flirting

yeet: i need the gossip

yeet: @lost @help @letmesleep @issabird @sapnupuas @greedybastard @daddykink

yeet: get all ya asses here already or ill spill ur nudes

sapnupuas: here

daddykink: present

lost: here

issabird: How do you even have my nudes?

yeet: i got my ways

letmesleep: im lowkey scared

help: lowkey? im highkey scared

yeet: @greedybastard get on here already

yeet: else ill leak that photo of u in the maid outfit

greedybastard: ASKJHDKJH

greedybastard: HOW?!?

yeet: i got my sources

yeet: now ed

yeet: tea

<demoted has left piping hot tea>

yeet: oh hell nah

<yeet has added Roy Mustang to piping hot tea>

<yeet has locked piping hot tea>

Roy Mustang: WHAT THE HELL

Roy Mustang: I CANT LEAVE

yeet:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: that is terrifying

Edward Elric: anyway heres what uve been waiting for

<Edward Elric has changed Roy Mustang’s name to ‘furry’>

yeet: AHIUHUIHEUIH

gearhead: HIOHIOJBKBKJ

issabird: Is this why you keep pointing out cat ears to me, Roy?

yeet: OMOFYIGIGIB

yeet: it got better

yeet: ed remind me to give u the money i stole back

Edward Elric: wtf

Edward Elric: when did u take money from me?

yeet: this morning

Edward Elric: i didnt even see u this morning??

<yeet has changed Edward Elric’s name to n00b>

yeet: u have much to learn young automailer

n00b: automailer is not a word

yeet:  (ง'̀-'́)ง

furry: I MIGHT BE A FURRY BUT AT LEAST I DONT HAVE AN ARMOUR KINK LIKE MEI

snake: AOISJIOCIOHOI

snake: HOW DO U KNOW THAT

furry: ive seen u

yeet: MY DAY JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER

gearhead: theres nothing wrong with liking armour

n00b: just because u have an automail kink winry

gearhead: AOHDIOHOD BUT ITS SO GOOD

yeet: winry

yeet: i feel betrayed

gearhead: AHFIUHIU

gearhead: NOOO

snake: u cant talk paninya

snake: u have a foot kink

yeet: AIOJOIDH

n00b: now thats just sad

n00b: be glad u dont have feet paninya

n00b: automail smells so much better than feet

gearhead: bullshit

gearhead: both ur feet always smell good for some reason

yeet: AGIGIGI

yeet: WHY HAVE U BEEN SNIFFING HIS FEET

yeet: U ALSO GOT A FOOT KINK OR WUT

gearhead: WHAT NO

gearhead: IVE JUST HAD TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS ON HIS LEG BEFORE

yeet: i feel outed

yeet: none of yall r safe anymore

<yeet has changed the chat name to ‘kinkshame central’>

snake: shit

snake: iv done goofed

yeet: U BET U HAVE

n00b: WHY CANT WE REMOVE HER FROM THE CHAT

yeet: lets start with jean

sapnupuas: WHAT NO

yeet: jean liks to dress up as a maid and be topped by a woman

furry: HAHAHAHAHA

yeet: why r u laughing, roy

yeet: i have more dirt on u

furry: FUK

furry: IM SORRY

furry: PLEASE FORGIVE ME

yeet: ill save u for later

yeet: now

yeet: who next?

yeet: ah yes

yeet: sweet lil kain

lost: please no

yeet: now lil kain liks bloodplay

gearhead: OMFG

gearhead: THAS WILD

n00b: i have a newfound fear of kain

yeet: then sweet winry

gearhead: AFOHEO

gearhead: NOOOOO

yeet: other than her automail kink winry liks to be called master and tie up her slave using leather collars

gearhead: WHY CANT I LEAVE THIS GC

yeet: then there is our dear lil alphonse

mustprotecc: please dont

yeet: oh alphonse

yeet: ur cuteness doesnt work on me

yeet: alphonse liks to be called daddy

n00b: wow

n00b: i cant believe im an only child

mustprotecc: please

mustprotecc: do brother next

mustprotecc: i cant go down alone

yeet: nah

yeet: i make the rules

yeet: so lets go with riza

yeet: now this one isnt that surprising given how well riza obeys orders

yeet: riza likes to roleplay using military rankings and the like

yeet: she of course is always the lower ranking one

gearhead: riza

gearhead: i feel betrayed

issabird: You better sleep with one eye open tonight, Paninya.

yeet: so u can tell me ive been a bad girl riza?

yeet: wouldnt u rather save such words for roy

yeet: or should i say colonel mustang

furry: AIUHIUHCIH

yeet: which brings me onto how sometimes roy fantasizes about dressing riza up as a dog and giving her orders

issabird: How do you even get this information?

yeet: but alas

yeet: we must move onto mei

snake: please no more

yeet: well mei liks to be called princess and she enjoys being spoiled like the baby girl she is

yeet: like i said before no one is safe

yeet: now that brings me to breda

yeet: oh so calm and logical breda

yeet: hes a tough cookie

yeet: always very vanilla

yeet: other than the fact that he liks to use whips

<letmesleep has changed their name to ‘letmedie’>

letmedie: please

yeet: no

yeet: whos left

yeet: ah vato

yeet: trying to stay quiet so i might not hear u

yeet: u seem to have a thing for sensory deprivation

help: send help

help: please

yeet: dont worry

yeet: lan fan hasnt had her turn yet

daddykink: how does one delete their entire existence

daddykink: asking for a friend

yeet: lan fan contrary to her tough outer appearance liks to be called princess and is actual very soft in that she liks to wear dresses and tiaras

daddykink: AOJFOIJO

daddykink: THE EMBARASSMENT

gearhead: that wasnt even that bad tho

gearhead: it was actually kind of cute

yeet: thank u for coming to my ted talk

mustprotecc: but u didnt do brother or ling ( ・◇・)？

yeet: tHaNk U fOr CoMiNg To My TeD tAlK

yeet: now bow down to me

<yeet has changed their name to ‘queen’>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bow down to Paninya. Wonder why she didn't reveal Edward and Ling's kinks ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	5. hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang discuss Hogwart's houses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edward - n00b/ravendaven  
> Alphonse - mustprotecc  
> Winry - gearhead/snape  
> Mustang - furry  
> Fuery - lost   
> Falman - help   
> Breda - letmedie  
> Hawkeye - issabird   
> Jean - sapnupuas   
> Mei - snake  
> Ling - greedybastard   
> Lan Fan - daddykink   
> Paninya - queen/slitheriestsnake

<kinkshame central>

furry: so r we just not gonna talk about why paninya didnt out ling and eds kinks

n00b: cant out what i dont have

n00b: im not gross lik yall

gearhead: ed? innocent? must be fake

queen: he aint wrong tho

queen: the bois so vanilla he puts hughes to shame

queen: lik good luck to ling

queen: the day ed does anything remotely kinky is the day the world ends

gearhead: but the bois so obviously a saddist

gearhead: uv seen how much fun he has whenever he gets in a fight

queen: still

queen: playground manners are way different to bedtime manners

furry: but that still doesnt explain ling

queen: iv been wondering for a while

queen: but what hogwarts houses are yall

<queen has changed the chat name to ‘welcome to hogwarts biatch’>

furry: suspicious

queen: of course im obviously a hufflepuff as im nicer than all yall asses

greedybastard: bullshit u the slitheriest snake to ever slither

greedybastard: bitch is a slytherin

gearhead: ajiodjiofjoi

gearhead: slitheriest snake

<gearhead has changed queen’s name to ‘slitheriestsnake’>

gearhead: ling i love u

greedybastard: thas the most hetero shit uv ever said to me

greedybastard: i could almost cry

n00b: aight

gearhead: aight? u having a midlife crisis or some shit?

n00b: well we all know winry is def a slytherin

n00b: bitch might as well be snape shes so problematic

gearhead: i take offense

n00b: good

<n00b has changed gearhead’s name to ‘snape’>

snape: shook

snape: well we kno ur ass is also slytherin

mustprotecc: actually id say eds a ravenclaw ヽ(ー_ー )ノ

greedybastard: tru the boi lives knowledge

greedybastard: also only an animal lik a raven would suit such an emo as ed

snape: ed is about as emo as patrick stump

n00b: do not drag patrick stumps name through the mud lik this

n00b: the boi just wants to sing songs

<slitheriestsnake has changed n00b’s name to ‘ravendaven’>

ravendaven: the fucc?

slitheriestsnake: soz roz i dont make the rules

slitheriestsnake: anyway i feel like we got a lot of slytherins in this chat

slitheriestsnake: lik roy winry mei (dont fite me on this mei) ling 

slitheriestsnake: then we got our few hufflepuffs like alphonse vato kain

slitheriestsnake: then we got our gryffindors riza lan fan jean heymans

mustprotecc: riza a hufflepuff trust me hufflepuffs know hufflepuffs  ┐( ˘ ､ ˘ )┌

slitheriestsnake: but shes so rough

ravendaven: nah i see als point

ravendaven: rizas loyal as shit

ravendaven: but does that make me the only ravenclaw

slitheriestsnake: pretty much

ravendaven: what a lonely road i walk

ravendaven: also where is everyone

snape: most people are sleeping

snape: like we all should be doing

snape: which brings me to the question

snape: when did you last sleep ed

ravendaven: i had a 20 minute nap yesterday

mustprotecc: brother that doesnt count  (＃`Д´)

ravendaven: well then a few days ago

ravendaven: i dunno

ravendaven: what day r we on

snape: ed where r u

ravendaven: the library

snape: al

mustprotecc: im omw

ravendaven: seriously

ravendaven: again?

ravendaven: im fine

snape: al

mustprotecc: yeah im bringing the blanket burrito ( ` ω ´ )

ravendaven: im not the only one still awake

ravendaven: u 2 r and paninya roy and ling r

snape: yeah well riza deals with roy

snape: paninya sleeps through most her lectures

snape: i gotta deadline to meet but ill be back to normal tomorrow

snape: al was probably worried about u or working on something

snape: and ling is just a mess

greedybastard: well ur not wrong

ravendaven: im just working on something for a deadline

snape: yes but ur deadline is probably something lik 3 weeks away

ravendaven: 4 but i want to make sure its perfect

snape: and im sure it will be when u r able to properly function

ravendaven: u just got lucky

ravendaven: most of the time more of yall are awake at this time

slitheriestsnake: yeah but even we kno our limits

slitheriestsnake: and roy knows when to let riza give him instructions

ravendaven: heymans habits r bad too

slitheriestsnake: yeah but hes sleeping now so hes at least looking after himself a little

ravendaven: yall r so annoying

greedybastard: but u love us really

ravendaven: i would sell yall to satan for a grain of rice

snape: oof

snape: thats so sad

snape: alexa play despacito

ravendaven: help ioajiofjiogg

mustprotecc: i have secured brother ( *≧ω≦*)

snape: well done padawan

mustprotecc: blocked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow a 5th chapter issa miracle.
> 
> Next Time on Idiot Society: Alphonse and Winry seriously tear into Ed's sleeping habits because they aint healthy

**Author's Note:**

> THIS BITCH EMPTY YEET


End file.
